So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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