shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
