Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize