She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
