We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize