I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
