omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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