and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
