some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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