ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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