Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
