I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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