there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
