the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Congratulations! We have a period
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