Nicole vs. Life
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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