It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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