that's an acceptable place to lick
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
