i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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