Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize