just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
