mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Plan B is the new Plan A
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
