so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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