You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
