If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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