It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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