so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize