I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
