no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
