I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
only you would photoshop your dick
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
