Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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