I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
