Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize