Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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