She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize