why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
