some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize