No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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