I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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