It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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