Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Couch. On fire.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
