Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
