New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
