do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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