Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
