I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize