Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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