Your dad touched me again.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
