If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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