What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
