Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
