Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
a search helicopter?!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
