no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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