You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize