If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
