okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
