im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
