I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
