Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hell yes lets make some ravioli
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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