I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
