I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize