you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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