Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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