We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
