Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
