Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
