Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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