If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
