Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
