if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
