I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
