It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Life is so much better after having sex.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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