If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
