If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize