mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
