i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Im just a social blackout drinker.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
