how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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